Eris, Envy, and the Longing for the Divine Goodness
I am that I am.
“People who make the choice to study, work hard or do whatever they endeavour is to give it the max on themselves to reach to the top level. And you have the people who get envy and jealous, yet are not willing to put that work in, and they want to get the same praise. ”
First, my astrological musings on Uranus, Chiron, Eris and Envy
Uranus transited my natal Sun a decade ago, which is when I first became a student of astrology. The experience revealed deep revelations of who I really am as a unique human personality. My strengths, weaknesses, life experiences, life cycles, personal inner progressions, etc. At the same time, I also became interested in channeling and mediumship, and learning about myself as a spiritual being. The experiences were honest, revealing and now deeply cherished. At present, transit Uranus is in contact with my natal Chiron, and it is probing into the intimate matters that are challenging and painful to look at, but ultimately with reflection; highly rewarding and worth exploring.
The astrological glyph for Chiron the centaur is in the shape of a key after all. When one understands and allows the experience to come to wisdom, it can ultimately unlock deeply fulfilling insights, healing and transformation.
I have had many experiences with ENVY in my life, but it was only with the many 2020 culminations in my birth chart, and the Eris/Pluto squares of 2020, that I came to understand the dynamics behind it, as it was highly illuminated to me. Envy is not a new experience, but the planetary archetype of astrological Eris is new in our consciousness and very
uncomfortable to work to integrate. It is activated in our lives because some individuals are more tapped into their ‘higher selves’ than others. Those who are in need to do the work to improve themselves, need to wake up… The Plutocracy wants to control, but Eris wants the breaking of cycles and barriers...
Eris is the disrupter and awakener highlighting jealousy, envy and discord, and Pluto brings from the depths of the underworld the probing into matters that begs for inner transformation. It’s like the planet is finally ready to take this bull by the horns.
These wise revelations have been both excruciating, and a huge blessing for me as the months in and after Co-vid lockdown rolled on… How deliciously fascinating; that moving consciously through these issues, can set one free for happiness… the very thing that envy seeks to annihilate. It has become clear to me that those with predominant energies of Pisces and Taurus in their birth chart, had gone through a particular hard time, as their serenity, inner beauty and goodness seems to make them prime targets for the viciousness that tend to accompany bullying, abuse or envy. And if not worked through, may leave them in victim consciousness, which is not a happy place to be, and the breeding ground for more despair and destruction…
“(Chiron’s) wisdom says our most challenging experiences are the most growth engendering.”
“You will never forget the person who came to you bearing the gift of a torch while you were in the dark.”
When one is connected to the divine it shows. And when one is disconnected from the true nature… it shows eventually... even when masking and deception are put in place to give the appearance of stability, and to hide the lurking green-eyed monster. Every human being do have an intense desire to reconnect to their sacred divine nature, even while they are playing out the human third dimensional story: the power games, the stealing of other’s energy, the feeding of the human ego, the strategies to win at all cost, etc.
In 2020 I participated in an online workshop with Crimson Circle called the Sexual Energies School: Return to the essence of yourself. It has brought a deeper understanding of energy dynamics and the choice of self-love as the restoration of inner balance, as we explore the human experience. Most of the material presented were channelled by Tobias and Adamus Saint Germaine, and presented by Geoffrey and Linda Hoppe. Needless to say; it was life-changing. It re-awakened the desire that has always been with me; to bring highly enriching spiritual insights through for my own growth, and also for those that it may benefit as well. These insights can be hard to come by, which is why channeling soul wisdom can be such a beautiful, life-altering experience.
For these many reasons, I am choosing to move ever closer to who I really am as a soul having a human experience, so that in taking responsibility for self-love and honouring my authentic self, I may reach the beautiful potentials for my life.
May I also be a person - who bears the gift of a torch - for others who may find themselves in the dark. For it is in being true to oneself, levelling up, graduating into the new, and allowing the transformational experience, that one can move into potentials not previously available.
In gratitude to astrologer Christine Rothwell, whose special areas of interest and expertise are found in combining spiritual and psychological perspectives in both her teaching and consulting work, and in deepening the awareness of the feminine points in the birth chart.
I would also like to thank the Crimson Circle for the amazing work that they continue to do, for it clearly makes a huge difference in people’s lives.
What Green-Eyed Monster? What Jealousy?
In the videos below, Astrology Hub founder Amanda ‘Pua’ Walsh say that it can be a very destructive energy to both the person who envies, and the one who is envied, and it can create a lot of toxicity in relationships and environments. The discussions between astrologer Anne Ortelee and Amanda during 2020 Scorpio season, describes why identifying, naming, owning and working with envy are very important. It is a topic that is rarely talked about, nor well understood in society. Becoming masterful in its management is powerful. And learning to love ourselves, appreciate our own uniqueness, and being our authentic self as a blessing to the collective, can certainly help to usher in a more harmonious society.
“...when you name envy it calms it down...”
Video: … Clear information on envy the green eyed monsters of 2020/2021 and the potential for alchemy, skip to the 48 minutes time marker.
Video: …more on naming Envy is super important, skip to the 14 minutes time marker.
“It feels important to talk about it, to name it, so we can be aware of it in ourselves and when we are the target of it...”
“A lot of times you can have a parent that is envious of you, or a mother-in-law, or a partner. You suddenly get successful, and then they are envious of you. It’s a hard energy... ‘cause they want what you have.”
A brief look at the Green-Eyed Monster, envy attack, and the REFUSAL to break cycles and heal:
Envy is one of the most deeply embedded conditions, as one person looks at the success, happiness or inner fulfilment of another, and recognise the connection with the divine that they seemingly don’t have. This may give rise to the desire to take from, steal or sabotage what the other has. Envy in relationships are often shrouded in the taboo, because it is challenging to explore an emotionally loaded minefield, but when the red flags are ignored, it can become a dangerous or heartbreaking avenue to continue down. It is better to become aware, do the shadow-work, and make changes…
Intensely envious people seem to have one thing in common: they cannot stand that the person they envy reach a high vibrational happy place, when they feel that is what they deserve to have. Often a person can be secretly envious. They may have become an expert at their own master manipulations. The envied has to learn to watch behaviour over time, identify non-verbal cues, take the time to decode mixed messages, and perhaps not engage such people. If being at the receiving end of envying is a pattern in your life, it may be best to be very discerning what company you keep, and who in your circle may want to cut you. If you have not learnt your lessons, learn it sooner rather than later. The envious can cause great personal harm and sorrow, to their delight. They can be two-faced, talk and gossip behind your back, be deceptive and exploitative, and often cannot be trusted for a healthy, equal give-and-take relationship, unless they are able to fully heal themselves. Strong boundaries, being mindful and observation may be needed, as these people are often on the watch for opportunity. They are opportunists extraordinaire. They can be very clever at hiding their true feelings. They may start with being the envied’s biggest and closet friend and fan. They may even shower the envied with fake love and praise, yet be highly envious when the envied is celebrated, recognised or supported by a group of friends. Enviers may have a void in their life, which they may try to fill in unwholesome ways. They may find it hard to be alone with themselves and avoid doing inner-work to improve themselves.
Image: The Five of Swords can in the Tarot depicts the desire to win at all cost, no matter the damage. A fruitless win.
Image: The Three of Swords card in the Tarot signifies the inner life of both the envier and the envied in the un-evolved state. Both will stay unhappy, unless they do the work.
Heart of the Envy problem? Really?
An inflated but fragile ego, and insecurity are often at the heart of the problem. The envier’s own personal heartbreak, disappointment or sorrow in childhood are often the fertile bedrock for envy to set up shop in the first place. They are often very miserable inside, and use this emotional anger to control. Perhaps they had their energy, joy or exuberance for life stolen from them when they were young, by an envier or abuser. They may have endured some sort of emotional setback, yet they may not want to examine it; to heal themselves from their own suffering. They may have learnt to hide from their feelings, grown a false persona, or had become highly selfish and self-absorbed. However, their ego and pride may secretly be easily bruised. They may have a hard time being supportive of other people who have put in the hard work to become successful, because innately, they are not willing to work on healing their trauma. They may have lived many cycles in their life not learning from their mistakes. They may want to level up - to reap the benefits - but desire to stay in the safety of their rigid or ‘cautious’ comfort zone more than anything. They may be very capable of success, but stubborn. In truth, they may be unwilling to change; even if it means missing out on great personal highs for themselves. They may inflate their ego and self-importance instead, while at the same time controlling those around them to stay small and un-evolved, like them. Their own malicious ego may be their biggest enemy, but they may not see it that way. Thus the deception, betrayal, thieving, manipulation, power struggles and underhanded behaviour. The ego is the driving force behind the insincere, smug behaviour, which makes it unbearable to allow others their time in the sunshine, which is what they want for themselves. In the
““Envy aims to hurt and spoil the object, to empty it of its good stuff, whether or not we can acquire it…””
extreme, the emotionally immature envier may even become highly depressed, and wounded when they see the envied overcoming a dark time in their life. They may want to meddle with, or knock that person down: so they stay out of the deserved limelight, or are unable to shine their inner light, because the envier is in a dark place.
Abusers are often known for their cunning; to manipulate the heart-strings of another, to put themselves in the best position to take advantage of. All is fair in love and war they may believe. They take this very serious. They play dirty because they don’t care who, or what is hurt. There is a lack of spirituality and an emotional numbness that they may wish to hide, or pretend don’t exist. Some will do whatever it takes to cut another down, or keep their power over another in place… to see them suffer. The problem is that these people really do not want to break the cycle… even if it might bring them personal liberation and the goodies they seek… There has to be a willingness to identify ‘the problem’ and let it go. They are missing out on the magic that might have been theirs; because they may seek to win at all cost, instead of going through the transformations process of changing themselves.
A deeper look: Cinderella and Her Sisters - The Envied and the Envying, a book by Barry and Ann Ulanov.
According to the book, envy is an emotion that is rarely talked about, and the reason for this silence is the painful, searing effects of envy. It burns into us like acid, whether we are the envied or the envying. But envy really does exist, and it works its destruction all the more successfully because we refuse to face it. As long as we continue the conscious denial, it works to obliterate both the being of the envied and the envier, and attacks the good quality or stuff of that which is envied.
In the refusal to give it awareness, we conspire with its attempts to humiliate and de-value the good.
This book offers profound and deep insights into the dynamics that compromise the spiritual integrity of all involved. The pair is extremely knowledgable on the subject. The introduction to the book is available to read for free by clicking on the ‘Look inside’ image of the book on Amazon. The story of Cinderella is the story of envy and endures as no other fairy tale does. Cinderella, her stepmother and stepsisters are classic, yet safe examples for exploring the complex and torturous emotional situation. They show us the energies of envy - its vicious attack, its determination to spoil what it confronts, its refusal of the good at the same time that, in secret, it spies on the good.
Envy makes the misery of others its devoted aim. Recognising that in each of us are both sides of the envy drama can lead to specific steps to treat the problem. The problem is that the envied is perceived to possess something that the envier feels they are denied. It is crooked thinking. Here begins the terrible mixture of pain and pleasure which envy brings with it. “The envier may take some pleasure in accounting, finally, for the misery felt in his or her lack of something. But there is great pain, too, not only in the original anguish, but a new one. For the immediate effect of turning someone else into an abstraction is to do the same to oneself.” When you envy, you conjure up the spirit of hatred, that can turn on you…
“Rather than receive, envy wants to destroy the giver, pushing for a levelling down so all will be equally miserable.
”If I cannot have something, no one is to have anything, no one is to be anything.””
The Envier:
The book holds up a mirror for the envier to look in, and it is not a pretty picture. According to the book, the envier may suffer from insecurities; not being good enough, or not having much to offer. Or even fear of failure or rejection if they leave their comfort zone. The envier may suffer psychological problems, which result in seeing the envied simply being there, as the problem. The envier projects onto the envied, schemes and plots, and sees through a distorted lens. When an envy assault is delivered, the shock response seems not to matter to the envier; they may feel totally justified.
According to the introduction in the book, the envied questions whether they did something wrong, when they have only ever supported the envier: “The target of envy’s attack is not one’s doing, but one’s being. Cinderella, for example, owns nothing but her work and the attitude with which she approaches it. But her sisters envy her even that. Owning much but doing nothing, they envy her way of being and going about things. They aim to take it out of her, to disembowel her spiritually, so to speak. Seated in her ashes, going cheerfully about her duties, dressed in rags, the suffering servant has an unmistakable allure about her that the envious sisters clearly lack.”
The Envied:
The book also holds up a mirror for the envied to look in, and it is not a pretty sight. Where might the envied have fallen into false belief systems about self, indulged in self-sabotage, or other entrapments; believing that they are a victim of an abuser? To be the object of envy is indeed a terrible and threatening experience, as the introduction in the book vividly illustrates.
According to the introduction, “The envied one no longer exists as a valid subject. She is changed into a thing, a mere object of envy.” “It is as if one has become a garbage can into which all the tainted stuff of the envier can be dumped. The envied one is reduced to the envier’s projections. Human relationship with the envier is blocked, any bond of sympathy or understanding severed. This accounts for the second outstanding mark of being envied: utter helplessness.” “The envied one often feels stunned at this revelation that his or her being is the problem to the envier, and feels even more helpless to do anything as a result. For what is there to do?” “The envied one falls into the pool of victimisation, thrashing around in undeserved hurt. One may struggle to master the pain by self-accusation, making oneself the cause, taking responsibility for the other’s projections, denying the malevolence of the envying. Such omnipotence simply compounds the envier’s attack with self-attack.”
According to the book, to be envied is to be persecuted, victimised, accused, violated, cut off, or made impotent, while at the same time being confined to the extended suffering of the situation.
After experiencing such viciousness, the recipient may also be faced with a variety of temptations. One being yielding to the temptation to retaliate and persecute in kind, hoping to expose to everyone how cold, unethical, and grasping the envier is. Either way, violent anger-filled persecution of the envier, or of oneself, only makes the situation worse.
“The poison of envy fills the soul of the envied one.”
Disempowerment may continue until either the envied, or the envier, find a way to take the appropriate action to heal from the enslavement. See the image to the right and click to enlarge. It is The Devil card in the tarot, which speaks of bondage to toxic patterns and behaviours.
The card also represents a puppet-master that is dangling another like a puppet, which is a perfect symbol of the envier and envied dynamic. Thought Pluto was scary? Then learn about Eris that exposes both him and the ego game. Alarming, isn’t it?
“The envied grow increasingly desperate, for nothing succeeds in warding off envy. If they renounce any hope of being seen and accepted as themselves, they are accused of being cold and aloof. If they try to share their good, they are attacked for showing off or being patronizing. If they try to defend by explaining, they are not listened to, for explanations wil not fill up an empty envier. Even if some of the melodrama is lacking, they are in the position of hostages being held by terrorists.”
Being conscious of Envy and taking the higher road: Growing and Evolving is the name of the game
Why do players play, bullies bully, and enviers envy?
It’s all about the good energy of another person, and how that can be contorted for those who seem unable to obtain inner satisfaction. It is about how energy can be turned into a trophy, whether that is the form of a short burst of confidence, a feeling of power over another, or a quieting of a past that haunts the present.
Very few are taught skills to deal with those who execute toxicity or relationship melodrama, especially Pisceans and Taureans who seems to enjoy seeing the good and beauty in all. Fortunately there are some amazing resources to help people become more conscious; to learn their lessons, adapt and set themselves free. Nobody wishes to be tied down to players who get stuck in their own low-vibrational prisons; who refuse to grow.
The envied need to do a serious re-evaluation of their relationships, for sometimes nothing succeeds in warding off envy, its by-products, and its entanglements. There may be nothing they can do to appease their tormentors. They may need to learn to be willing to cut their losses, and protect themselves.
Image: Look at the menacing intensity on that face and the mask that disguised the truth! Deception And Envy is the card from The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland. It is the 7th card of the suit mental from the Minor Arcana. This card is equivalent to the 7 of swords, in a traditional tarot spread. Drawing this card means that you may be in a situation that requires you to be super alert and smart. There are some around you that could be playing mind games, which, may be helping or hurting your situation. There is also the possibility that you’re trying to fool yourself and in denial of some kind. You will probably be aware of your own unhappiness in a situation; burying your head in the sand is not going to help.
Are you trying to stick it out in a loveless relationship? Are you working in a career field that is wrong for you? If you answer these questions with a yes, then the results of your own self-deception will begin to affect you emotionally.
“Denial is a river in Egypt?”
It is very important to grow a clear intuition and strong boundaries, because when instincts are continually ignored, the envied may land in yet another similar situation, and ultimately pay the price for ignorance. The envied are sometimes soft-hearted, loving individuals, yet in need to skill-up. Strong emotional intelligence is required to navigate these turbulent waters. Enviers can be highly skilled at manipulation and deception, and if you are not alert, you may step in the trap that is sprung for you, to take advantage of your lack of awareness. Enviers are often players and opportunists, who prefer a non-committal lifestyle; popping in and out of the lives of others, taking what they want, and turning their back on the connection, only to reappear with enthusiasm at a later stage as if nothing had happened.
Lack-mentality, stagnation, frustration, dissatisfaction with life, brooding on misery, repeating past mistakes and even emotional blow-ups, are often some of the red flags. If someone cannot generate happiness and personal fulfilment on their own - in their own life - they may not be able to be supportive of those who are enjoying their rewards. Enviers are often not where they desire to be in life. Instead they may look with discontent at others’ love, success, wisdom, or joyful situations. The envier may not be willing to act on their own opportunities, expand their own horizons, or take wholesome action to grow up. Instead, they’d rather steal from, cause drama, or conflict, and may be a hater of others’ joy, prosperity or confidence.
Remember that everyone has the choice to reconnect to their own goodness and divine nature.
It is often only after a withdrawal or distance from a co-dependent relationship, that the envier may start to re-evaluate their part in the loss of that person. When the envied had been a spring of boundless generosity, or a gravy train, the envier may feel the loss keenly. They may finally be forced to look at their emotions, or even seek self healing. The harm that they had caused was, after all, intentional, and the consequences of envy works its demolition in all directions. Both enviers and the envied may choose to stay in denial of their feelings, resist healing, and thus stay stuck in the toxicity for many life cycles, or even their entire lives… Sadly, it is a choice.
Look at your emotions and heal, or stay stuck and repeat past mistakes one life cycle after the other.
It’s very simple really… however, this statement reveals why it is so difficult for some to move out of envy; they are truely not willing to look at their emotions, grow up and heal, therefore they will keep being in envy of others who are enjoying the rewards that come from personal growth and spiritual upliftment. Refusing to heal emotions = self imprisonment. Being envious of others is therefore a futile past time.
Envy is the result of refusing to take charge of your life. Take responsibility, or suffer the consequences of an unfulfilled life… Just realise - that in the bigger picture - you cannot really blame other people for your situation… When you don’t really want to break the cycle… you stay in the cycle. You will stay the bottom-feeder and beggar, if that is where you choose to be…
“Evolutionarily, a wound implies growth and asks us to do something in response; more specifically, to do something different than that which caused it.”
The Shame of the Narcissistic person
Doctor Ramani is a recognised expert on narcissistic relationships, and in this video describes how and why narcissists destroy the dreams and limit the potential of others. “All of their machinations are often designed to subvert your aspirations, because their fragile little egos couldn’t tolerate your success, and the threat to their ego, that your success would bring.” Also, in another video she describes that these people are extremely sensitive to how they are perceived by those around them, and when others are ‘on’ to their game and insecurities. She says that the fact that someone perceives them in a negative light, tends to activate shame in them. They don’t want to appear to be unhinged, or be that person that people ‘manage’ or skirt around. Unfortunately, most narcissists have to fake it in front of a group of people or play to an audience. They are hot and cold, and unstable, because they cannot maintain the pretence for extended periods of time, due to the fact that there is emotional coldness and insincerity. Their
inner worlds are undeveloped and stuck.
Their emotional centre and sense of empathy are closed off, resulting in bad behaviour, which compounds the guilt, shame, emptiness, insecurity and ‘stuckness’ they feel when they are around others. This is also why they are so eager to shift the unwanted feelings and energy onto others in unhealthy ways… like scapegoating; creating blame or shame for others without them having done anything to deserve it.
Emotional intelligence, maturity and healthy self-reflection are needed to reach really satisfying personal highs in life, something narcissists may fundamentally lack, which will lead to more envy and insecurity; and bad behaviour. Fortunately there is a rewarding way forward for everyone…
Self Love & Wisdom: The Solution to Jealousy and Envy
Stealing from or seeking love or validation from others, is a futile busy-ness. Also, when one does not know how to love self, relationships are often co-dependent; and therefore unhealthy to some degree. When one does not love self, the envy-eye looks at the ‘love’ that others have; manipulation and the like are often the attempts to gain, or destroy the ‘goodness’ the other has. This is not true love. This is not a stable, loving relationship. This is what needs to heal. You don’t need validation from another to know what love is. Self love is the solution to what both the envier and the envied are truely looking for. It sets one free.
The Crimson Circle SES workshop teaches how we can improve our relationships, health and well-being, allow the return of joy through the path of self-love, and learn to stop others from depleting our energy. Together, both Tobias and Adamus teach that one person can be both the victim and the abuser, and details the futility of the blame game. The solution starts with educating the self on how to move forward with an appropriate skill set; to graduate into adulthood. Spiritual and emotional maturity are so much more rewarding than attempting to steal energy from others…
The course shows why both the narcissist, and the person who is toyed with, will benefit from taking this workshop to facilitate personal healing.
Image: A depiction of the angels that separated from the I am to explore duality. In the SES workshop Tobias shares in session 5 the beginnings; with the original duality of masculine/feminine energies, the energy-stealing and power games played out in the other realms long before Earth, and how those energies came back to life at the time of Atlantis, in the human being. We have been seeking to reconnect with our divinity in a wholesome manner ever since, and the workshop shows that it is possible. Channelled wisdom can be very valuable and beautiful.
Eris will be a massive influence in the seven year Haumea Yod that will be in the astrological sky from 2022 - 2028, at the reaction point in a Boomerang Yod. The Foundations of Change online course describes the dynamics in detail.
Why do people feel like they are losing their heads since the start of 2020?
Read all about the strange mixed bag of energies we’ve been having since the start of 2020, like the five pointed star, the four Yods and three Hammer of Thor aspect patterns, in The Pentagram of Change online course. We are in a time of massive, rapid change.
Learn more about the bigger picture by going to courses.
More ABiggerPicture.com Articles:
Resources:
An Envious Person In Your Midst. Protect Yourself From An Envy Attack
THIS IS HOW YOU FIND YOUR TRUE IDENTITY
Grow up or else… This time you really mean it!!!
Watch Out For This Two-Faced Friend On Your Road To Success. Seeing Their Shadow Side
Realising their jealousy of you. Big wake up call.
This person from your past is repeating past mistakes. You’re healing.
Tempted by a toxic crowd. These fair-weathered friends are excess baggage.
I gave you fair warning, beware.
I am free (1h09m)
These Gossips Are Getting Karma. What Goes Around Comes Around
That Crown Looks Beautiful On YOU! Tailored To YOU!
The Greater The Effort, The Sweeter The Reward
How narcissists are made - Dr Ramani
Narcissism and the Goldwater Rule