Trauma and Betrayal Bonds in Astrology, Pluto, Eris, and Persephone in the Underworld
I decided to write this article about trauma-bonding in astrology, right after listening to the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac the night of the Sun/Mercury cazimi. Ideally, this article should be posted in the Eris blog, but I decided to put it in the Pluto blog, because psychological issues and states - like trauma-bonding - have primarily been associated as a Pluto issue, when it is not… Trauma-bonding is something that happens to a person
that puts them in an unhealthy emotional attachment with another - with Demeter and Pluto - but neither is the experiencer of it, it is Persephone. And so is Eris in astrology, through the association with Eris, Greek Goddess of Discord and Strife, which is also a trans-Neptunian object like Pluto. See Eris’s discovery chart to understand why Persephone, is also higher expression Eris in astrology, and study the Eris blog in detail to see the many parallels.
Unhealthy Emotional Attachment
Eris’s discovery chart describes Persephone’s journey into the underworld in great detail. Also her fright and trauma after witnessing a great power and control battle between her mother Demeter/Ceres and new husband Pluto, Lord of the Underworld. She observed their horrible plots and schemes to put them at a benefit, against her best interest. She saw the rise of their true motivations and intentions coming to the surface. How each had their own narcissistic desire to keep her next to them - in emotional attachment - in effect keeping her small, stunting her growth, robbing her of her freedom and her elevated position in life (she was the daughter of Demeter, Greek goddess of grain and agriculture). The selfishness of the bondage clearly seen. She lived the frightful and shameful experience of Venus diving into the Underworld... seeing the truth come to light, and having to accept the full scope of her experience in relation to others, for what is was.
Both Pluto and Eris have Moon in Scorpio in their discovery charts. In fact, Eris’s discovery chart has Ceres conjunct her Moon in Scorpio and also a Venus, Mercury and Pluto conjunction in Sagittarius in the 9th house. These signatures entails massive challenges and being challenged in relationship. This has been explored in great detail in this article and multiple others… Curiously, Eris, Sedna and Haumea all have a Venus, Mercury, Pluto conjunction in Sagittarius in their discovery charts, and it is a common theme amongst the brightest trans-Neptunian objects.
These facts, as well as the mythology shows how intricate the relationship can be between innocent, inexperienced, gullible and easily persuaded Persephone, suddenly stuck in the Underworld, coming to understand the unhealthy emotional attachment - that both mother and husband - want to impose on her will. Persephone loved both her (smothering, overprotective) mother, and eventually her cold, controlling but supportive husband, but she had to dig deep inside of herself, for the wisdom, maturity and soul connectedness, to become a sovereign, independent being, despite their attempts at negative influence on her…
What is Trauma Bonding or Traumatic Bonding in Exploitative Relationships?
Trauma bonding is the emotional attachment when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive for them. It is formed between a victim and their abuser, which often makes them feel compelled to stay in the relationship, which was certainly the case with Persephone. She initially could not leave the Underworld (because it is a rule that no-one who goes to the Underworld, leaves it). And after Pluto gave her pomegranate seeds to eat, her fate seemed even more sealed… To be stuck and loyal to a situation that does not work for her - or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive, or destructive, is a form of insanity. To be reliant on another for support, protection, resources or survival, when one is experiencing things that break down the trust, security or well-being of the person, is a deep betrayal. One can only imagine what Persephone might have gone through. Yet she became a master alchemist who transformed her situation to her own benefit; there are a great many articles that describe this alchemical transformation on ABiggerPicture.com, in the Eris Blog.
This article doesn’t look at the phenomenon of trauma-bonding in great detail, because there are plenty of free online resources that can help people get a handle on the details of this psychological phenomenon. This article is primarily for astrological study. Please see the disclaimer, as this website is not here to substitute what some may need in the form of professional counselling or psychological help services.
“Everything about a trauma bond is about [power, control, and manipulation.] Everything. And how the abusers get control [is by being highly manipulative].”
In brief, trauma bonding is a vicious cycle that a victim is trapped in by way of manipulation. Trauma bonding can occur within relationships, friendships, and families, and feels like an addiction. It is a biological and emotional process that makes people more important to each other over time. This emotional attachment often develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement. It can also happen when two people are invested in a mutual person, object or thing, and this is used to manipulate the other or keep them stuck energetically.
Wikipedia describes that trauma bonds are based on terror, domination, and unpredictability. As a trauma bond between an abuser and a victim strengthens and deepens, it leads to conflicting feelings of alarm, numbness, and grief, that show up in a cyclical pattern. More often than not, victims in trauma bonds do not have agency and autonomy, and don't have an individual sense of self either. Their self-image is a derivative and an internalisation of the abuser's conceptualisation of them (gaslighting?). The effect of trauma-bonding is overwhelmingly an Eris in astrology issue; its the tricks and word magic that people get up to, to take a gain from another’s downfall.
Trauma bonds have severe detrimental effects on the victim, not only while the relationship persists, but beyond that as well. Some long-term impacts of trauma bonding include (but are not limited to) remaining in abusive relationships, having adverse mental health outcomes like low self-esteem, negative self image, and increased likelihood of depression and bipolar disorder, and perpetuating a generational cycle of abuse. Victims who traumatically bond with their victimisers are often unable to leave these relationships or are only able to do so with significant duress and difficulty. Even among those who do manage to leave, many go back to the abusive relationship due to the pervasiveness of the learned trauma bond.
Yet we know from Greek mythology, that Persephone was able to alchemise her experience in the Underworld and elevate, which entail a re-evaluation of Venus issues, like relationship, value, money, worth, love, aesthetics, personal tastes, etc.
A Venus in the Underworld planetary event has multiple associations, like when Venus dips below the horizon, goes retrograde, conjuncts the Sun, Pluto etc. The most associated is when Venus conjuncts the Sun, and gets lost in the “heart” of the Sun. There will be a Venus Sun superior conjunction and Solar eclipse from 22 - 25 October 2022.
Wikipedia explains that in the 1980s, Donald G. Dutton and Susan L. Painter began to explore the concept of traumatic bonding theory in the context of abusive relationships and battered women. This work was then further studied in contexts of parent-child relationships, sexual exploitation, and more. Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., CAS developed the term to describe "the misuse of fear, excitement, sexual feelings, and sexual physiology to entangle another person."
A simpler and more encompassing definition is that traumatic bonding is: "a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence." Patrick also did excellent work on the traumatic bonding theory, exploring it specifically in the context of betrayal, which involved the exploitation of the victim's trust, sense of power, or both, by the abuser.
Patrick writes that abandonment by betrayal is worse that mindless neglect. It is purposeful and self-serving, and if severe enough, it is traumatic.
“What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough and the terror big enough, the body alters. The system elevates into an alarm state, never safe. Waiting for the hurt again. In that state of readiness the client doesn’t notice that part of them has died. The client is grieving.
Like everyone who has loss, the clients have shock and disbelief, fear, loneliness, and sadness. Yet the clients don’t notice because their guard is up. In their readiness, the clients abandon themselves. Yes, another abandonment.
What we see is highly addictive attachment to the persons who have hurt the clients. The clients may even blame themselves, their defects, their failed efforts. The clients strive to do better as their lives slip away amongst all the intensity.
These attachments cause the clients to distrust their own judgment, to distort their own realities so much, the clients can place themselves at more risk. The clients are bracing themselves against further hurt. Taking precautions which almost guarantee more pain. These attachments have a name. They are called trauma bonds."
Wikipedia describes that there are two main factors that facilitate the formation and continuation of a trauma bond: a power imbalance and intermittent reinforcement.
Power imbalance
For a trauma bond to persist, it is necessary for a power difference to exist between the abuser and the victim such that the abuser is in a position of power and authority whereas the victim is not. Inequity in power can itself produce pathologies in individuals that can fortify the trauma bond, with the use of domination, and punishment that lead so negative self-appraisal and enforced emotional dependency.
This dynamic is also maintained via the interaction of the abuser's sense of power and the victim's sense of powerlessness and subjugation.
2. Intermittent reinforcement
Intermittent reinforcement of rewards and punishments is crucial to the establishment and maintenance of a trauma bond. In trauma bonding, the abuser intermittently maltreats the victim in the forms of physical, verbal, emotional, and/or psychological abuse. This maltreatment is interspersed with positive behaviours like expressing affection and care, showing kindness, giving the victim gifts, and promising not to repeat the abuse. Alternating and sporadic periods of good and bad treatment serve to intermittently reinforce the victim.
The pervasiveness of learning something through intermittent reinforcement can be elucidated upon by drawing from learning theory and the behaviourist perspective. In the presence of an aversive stimulus, reinforcement through rewards in unpredictable ways are a key component to learning. When the learner is unable to predict when they will get the reward, learning is maximised. Similarly, the intermittent expressions of affection and care are unexpected and the inability to predict them makes them more sought after. Intermittent reinforcement produces behavioural patterns that are tough to terminate. Thus, they develop incredibly strong emotional bonds.
A trauma bond can be maintained by keeping the power imbalance and the intermittency of abuse intact.
In addition, John Bowlby’s attachment theory maintained that a secure attachment was an evolutionary sound human need, that superceded even the need for food and reproduction. Human attachment bonds are complex, as experiments show. Furthermore, in situations of danger, humans seek increased attachment. When ordinary pathways of attachment are unavailable, people tend to turn to their abusers. This leads to the development of strong bonds and deep emotional connections with abusers. This attachment may be adaptive in the short-run as it may aid survival. But in the long-run, this attachment is maladaptive and can lay the foundation for, increase vulnerability to, and even directly lead to trauma bonding.
Trauma bonding involves destructive, exploitative behaviour, competition, or broken promises; stealing people’s valuable time and creative energy for personal gain, or wasting their time.
On the victim’s side it is the inexperienced or addicted being tempted by the intoxication of the devil, misplaced loyalty, self-destructive denial, or an inability to detach, due to attachment. And it can morph into PTSD; reacting years later to trauma by accumulation, that sneaks up on the victim.
Shame, Scapegoating and Female Agency
The story of Persephone includes shame. She was the overprotective daughter who was extremely beautiful, and in modern terms, there is a questioning that she was “asking for it” when she picked the forbidden narcissus flower (daffodil), wandered out of sight of her friends and mother, or being the too beautiful tall poppy, before Pluto stole her to the underworld. There is a famous statue called the Rape of Persephone that describes how she was desecrated. As Persephone “plucked” the flower, so Zeus “plucked” her virginity, and finished her off in the eyes of society, as “a done for” woman. There is a general expectation that Persephone will wilt or hide away after her ruination; perhaps feeling not worthy, having no more good reputation, after getting the evil eye…
Being shamed, burdened and injured are also a well-known Eris in astrology issues, and how people are sometimes deliberately blamed, vilified, scapegoated or made bad the eyes of others (with gaslighting, gossip, smear-campaign etc.).
Also outcasted or abandoned by others, and how the shamed then have to spend some time ‘in the underworld’ to process the stuck state that others had deliberately casted or projected over them. Unfairly, due to an abuse of power. Needing to alchemise the experience, to become like Persephone; Goddess of Spring and Renewal, blameless, in purity, and free from the projections and actions of others. Losing her virginity alluded to sexual shame, but as readers will discover in the Eris blog, this shame can be a multitude of things, like for example when Zeus scapegoated Eris for the massive destruction of the Trojan War, when Zeus and Themis were the brainchild of the scheme. Deliberately, blaming the innocent in the eyes of others… to feel shamed as the psychological wastebasket for the sins of others.
Persephone, Eris and Using Truth for Liberation and Protection from Exploitation
See the images about the statue of Persephone holding a theatre mask. It is just one of the many associations between what Persephone learned in the Underworld, about those who claimed to love her, but indulged in fighting over her, traumatising her, making her re-think her heart’s desires and relationships in the Underworld, and Eris. “Why do the people who claim to love me, and claim to have my best interest at heart, don’t have my best interest at heart? Or make choices that disadvantage me and break my heart, out of selfish interest?” In the one hand Persephone is holding up a theatre mask, which signifies the facades that people put up, to take advantage of her empathic nature. The other hand seem to hold a stick, perhaps signifying what she had learnt in the underworld; to keep opportunists, users and abusers away from her, and install boundaries. It suggests that a big stick is required, to whack an inauthentic player should she come across one. With the idiom "speak softly and carry a big stick — you will go far" applying.
Persephone saw that she was being sabotaged into serving other people - to be servant and slave to their selfish desires - and led a quiet, peaceful rebellion into nurturing and loving herself, energetically away from their influence, through allowing herself to see the truth. One could say that Persephone’s strategy was that of “grey rocking” the narcissists. Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behaviour by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation.
The narcissists wanted Persephone’s empathic energy and emotional nature, to feed off and perhaps also to build their own egos or self-importance, and when she did not give it - called grey rocking - they would eventually let her be.
Note the images below, and consider how the torches / flame torches that is often seen on ancient Greek artefacts, represent illumination of truth in the Underworld.
Persephone became intensely aware of those who want her to stay on a certain level, or perhaps their level, or where they are at, when it did not serve her. Persephone chose her stability, independence, freedom, and to energetically separate herself from those self-serving, exploitative energies. Being self-sufficient, balanced and wise in her own energy.
Realising that the goal of Eris lower expression people is to keep the scales of justice imbalanced, so that the envious people - who didn't do the work, who is less deserving - can have the upper hand over the deserving.
Other articles on this website describes in great detail the spiritual debt/karma that people enter into, when they abuse others.
Persephone became willing to keep her end clean, allowing for the wheel of fortune to bring her dharma, for the work that she put in to clear her energy of the toxic attachments.
And those who took on spiritual debt through indulging in low vibrational choices and behaviour, perhaps finding themselves in spiritual court/jail. There is always divine justice and divine rearrangement for those who were mistreated and marginalised, who chose to forgive, learn their lessons and elevate. And some kind of karma for those who chose chaos for others. The scales of balance making adjustments, and doling out just dues. Eris transits are long and although some people may start to think that justice will never come, it does… And it doesn’t always come in the package that one expects. The idea is, that one party has a credit balance, and the other a debit… It’s about the repercussions of both party’s actions, and becoming accountable.
Image: Demeter from Wikimedia Commons.
Persephone realised that those who were willing to brutally traumatise her, to get their way, have narcissistic traits not worth encouraging.
Studying and acknowledging the people in her life, that do not want good things for her, manipulating her to stay small.
She energetically separated herself from the people who wanted to prevent her from achieving her goals, success and grow. Seeing that sometimes those close to her she cares for, don’t want goodness for her, perhaps out of anger, vanity, insecurity, hubris, jealousy towards her, or personal issues. Recognising that she needed to get rid of those who disrupted her mental health, to become strong and solid within herself. And once she had achieved this, she found people who were very willing to celebrate her (see the image of Persephone enthroned), instead of bringing her down to their comfort level, or persuade her off track. Persephone learned to sit firm on her thrown as Queen of the Underworld, not allowing anything to knock her down. Protecting what is valuable and worthy, which is her own energy, at all cost. Being gentle with herself. Surrendering to quiet time, space, rest and sleep for self-care in the sacred space of the Underworld. The previous article about Pluto higher expression describes how and why the Underworld can be a beautiful experience.
All the trans-Neptunian objects explored on this website has a lower and higher expression.
Eris’s discovery chart explains why Persephone and Proserpina were the forerunners in the naming of the planet, that would later become Eris.
Image: Hades (Pluton) depicted sitting on the left holding a bident in his left hand, next to Persephone (Proserpina), with Cerberus (Kerberos) seated below via Wikimedia Commons.
“Abandonment and trauma are at the core of addictions. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic. What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough and the terror big enough, the body alters. The system elevates into an alarm state, never safe. Waiting for the hurt again. In that state of readiness the client doesn’t notice that part of them has died. The client is grieving.
Like everyone who has loss, the clients have shock and disbelief, fear,
loneliness, and sadness. Yet the clients don’t notice because their guard is up.
In their readiness, the clients abandon themselves. Yes, another abandonment.
What we see is highly addictive attachment to the persons who have hurt the clients. The clients may even blame themselves, their defects, their failed efforts. The clients strive to do better as their lives slip away amongst all the intensity.
These attachments cause the clients to distrust their own judgment, to distort
their own realities so much, the clients can place themselves at more risk. The clients are bracing themselves against further hurt.
Taking precautions which almost guarantee more pain.
These attachments have a name.
They are called trauma bonds. ”
Soul Purpose: Persephone Enthroned due to her Energetic Elevation
Persephone enthroned is a metaphor for all those people and experiences that wanted to dethrone her - through competition - and put her in Eris lower vibration; angry, hostile and fighting against the injustices and abuse of power. Persephone instead, having experienced trauma, decided to do the work to elevate; to rejuvenate and reap the benefits.
Once the truth comes out, the lies get diminished.
The light illuminates and eliminates the darkness.
This is the beauty of an Underworld experience.
In the end Persephone not only gained the power and influence of being Queen of the Underworld, she also became Queen of Renewal and Spring the other half of the year, getting what is rightfully hers. Deserving. What saboteurs did to delay her, ended up working in her favour.
Persephone learnt that she is not all alone, and that she was the person who loved herself, and had her best interest at heart. From knowing this, she found others who would value her, see her worth, and allow her to be in her full potential.
An Underworld visit, and rising from it, entails having detoxified the lower vibrational energies, into vibrant new energy.
Eris Square Pluto Technicalities 2022
The Eris square Pluto aspect was exact with five hits between 2020 - 2021 but will still be in orb of influence until 2024. At this time, Eris square Pluto is very nearly within 2 degree orb of influence for the next few weeks, and will still be even after Pluto stations to go direct on the 9th of October.
There may be a reverberation of the issues... and karma for the ravaging savages who took advantage of other people. Some perpetrators think they got away with what was done or said in the dark, but then they wonder why their ships are not coming in, or why they are stuck to infertility. Spiritual court/ jail is an energetic catchment area for those who had brought cause and effect over themselves, experiencing energetic consequences in this cycle, for what they did in a previous cycle. Perhaps wanting to go back to those who they disadvantaged, with a pity party, sob story or facade of victimhood - to capitalise. Perhaps inauthentic as always.
Why? Because the wheel of fortune brings karma and dharma. In fact, it brings clarity to all parties, about the consequences of indulging in psychological warfare for a gain, and the benefits of learning your Eris lessons, and allowing the wheel of fortune to bring you new blessings. Blessing that are for those who made right choices. Blessings that are NOT for those who come with sob stories, pity parties or facades of victimhood, to eat off the plate of the blessed, all over again.
The lesson of this transit is ultimately, to learn to live off your own divine energy by making right choices, and not to try to feed off of another’s, like a vampire. And to accept that when you don’t have what another has, and it makes you mad with envy, it is your problem to deal with. At the start of Eris transits people see that others have qualities and blessings that they lack, which is the main reason for the envy attacks, smear-campaigning, fakery etc. but when those transits are over, the truth is seen about the arrogant wastefulness of digging a grave for another person, to intentionally make them loose out on blessings, actually entails digging a grave for yourself as well.
When you try to block another’s blessings, you block your own.
When you attack other people’s joy, peace and blessings, you’ll inadvertently miss out on your own.
If you are insecure, and want to make others insecure, expect that they may cut you off permanently.
If you don’t allow others to have what they deserve, don’t expect to get what YOU don’t deserve.
Karma and dharma.
Which one do you really want? Instant gratification for selfishness, or long term integrity and stability?
With the Eris square Pluto energy still in effect until about 2024, expect to get your just dues…
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Eris Trine Varda
As this article is being written and published, Eris in Aries is also in exact trine with Varda in Sagittarius, both in Fire signs. Both are about soft-hearted people who carry a light and essence that is envied by antagonists. Many social media influencers have reported extreme polarities that they have experienced since the start of 2020…
More Articles about Eris in Astrology:
Being in spiritual jail is a concept that relates to cause and effect. To be put in time-out: to sit, think, consider and learn from. To look at intentions, motivations, and dysfunctional patterns. To get out of denial and be truthful to self. To trust, re-integrate, heal, grow and transform; surrendering to a process which takes a person from one state, into another. Those who allow the process of going into the underworld, learn to be present, mature, stable and joyfully open-hearted.